The Great Sphinx of Tbilisi

On my walk through the kitchen today I stumbled upon an undiscovered Egyptian sphinx.

The Sphinx

I immediately alerted the tall person to this important archaeological find and he smiled and told me that it was our cat Barnaby and not the mythical creature that has the body of a lion and a human head and was known as a ferocious and ravenous monster.

Ok. I got the head part wrong.

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Self defense for cats

You may recall that Barnaby got out of the yard and was attacked by another cat a few weeks ago. Since then he has stayed close to me but last night he went out again and didn’t come home until morning.

I stayed up most of the night waiting for him. When he finally returned home I asked him why he had stayed out all night and he shrugged and said that is what cats do.

I sat him down and reminded him of the dangers on the street. He reminded me that he is bigger now and can take care of himself.

Hmm, youngsters think they know it all.

Anyway, I insisted that he attends my Self Defense for Cats classes. He is doing quite well. In this picture he is demonstrating a lethal stranglehold on the little person’s old teddy bear.

Street teddy bears beware!

CSI Tbilisi launches major investigation!

You may remember that my kitten, Barnaby, was the victim of a vicious street mugging. The  perpetrator remains at large and continues to be a danger to innocent felines in my neighborhood.

To investigate this crime and apprehend the miscreant I have established CSI Tbilisi, an investigative agency based on my favorite crime drama television series called CSI (Crime Scene Investigation).

CSI follows Las Vegas criminalists (identified as “Crime Scene Investigators”) working for the Las Vegas Police Department. CSI Tbilisi follows Tbilisi based Crime Scene Investigators Bassa (me) and the tall person (the tall person).

Anyway, to bring you up to date on the investigation we interviewed Barnaby shortly after he had been mugged but he was unable to provide a full description of his attacker because it was dark and it happened so quickly. He was, however, able to tell us where it happened.

This is a picture of the crime scene.

It is the crumbling house in our street – a well known haunt of ‘bigger boys’.

Hmm, it will be difficult to extract any forensic evidence from there.

We have decided our best option is to try and jog the memory of the victim so I am spending time with Barnaby on the toy room balcony looking for cats in the street.

In the meantime, the tall person is collecting ‘mug shots’ of street cats in our neighborhood and we are showing them to Barnaby in the hope that he will identify the perpetrator, or ‘perp’ as we call them in law enforcement.

We showed this suspicious looking character to Barnaby but he said it wasn’t the one that mugged him.

I hope we catch the ‘perp’ soon. Barnaby is getting restless. I have reminded him that for his own safety he must remain within my witness protection program and not wander off.

I told him not to worry. CSI Tbilisi never gives up!

Ice cream etiquette

Yesterday, the tall person shared his ice cream with Barnaby and me. It was the first time that Barnaby had eaten ice cream.

I explained to him that we have rules concerning ice cream.

Rule 1: Wait patiently and do not panic. The tall person always shares but if you pester him there is always the possibility that he won’t.

Rule 2: Try not to watch the tall person eating his ice cream. It is best to look away or you will start drooling.

Here I am demonstrating the correct observance of Rules 1 and 2. Note that Barnaby is flouting Rule 2.

Rule 3: When the tall person indicates that it is time to share approach the ice cream carefully. Ice cream is notoriously slippery and can easily fall on the ground. A gritty ice cream is not much fun.

Rule 4: Do not rush. Savour the cool, creamy texture.

Rule 5: Try to avoid an ice-cream headache, also known as brain freeze, cold-stimulus headache, or its given scientific name sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia (meaning “nerve pain of the sphenopalatine ganglion”). This is a form of brief cranial pain or headache commonly associated with consumption (particularly quick consumption) of cold beverages or foods such as ice cream.

Unfortunately, as you can see from this picture I ignored my own advice and suffered sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia. Ouch!

Rule 6: Ice cream can be very messy to eat. Always maintain your dignity and avoid looking silly.

Oops! Have I got ice cream on my nose?

From the look on his face I think Barnaby enjoyed his first ice cream.

Follow these simple rules and you too will maximise your ice cream eating experience.

Barnaby says thank you!

Barnaby asked me to thank everyone for their get well wishes and lovely messages.

He is feeling much better today and we were able to have a chat about how he came to be attacked.

He said that he had met an adult tom cat in the street and went to say hello but the cat attacked him, scratching his ear and the top of his nose. He was taken completely by surprise and could not defend himself against the stronger cat so he ran home as fast as he could.

He showed me where the cat had scratched his nose. Ouch!