No need for words
You may remember that my kitten, Barnaby, was the victim of a vicious street mugging. The perpetrator remains at large and continues to be a danger to innocent felines in my neighborhood.
To investigate this crime and apprehend the miscreant I have established CSI Tbilisi, an investigative agency based on my favorite crime drama television series called CSI (Crime Scene Investigation).
CSI follows Las Vegas criminalists (identified as “Crime Scene Investigators”) working for the Las Vegas Police Department. CSI Tbilisi follows Tbilisi based Crime Scene Investigators Bassa (me) and the tall person (the tall person).
Anyway, to bring you up to date on the investigation we interviewed Barnaby shortly after he had been mugged but he was unable to provide a full description of his attacker because it was dark and it happened so quickly. He was, however, able to tell us where it happened.
This is a picture of the crime scene.
It is the crumbling house in our street – a well known haunt of ‘bigger boys’.
Hmm, it will be difficult to extract any forensic evidence from there.
We have decided our best option is to try and jog the memory of the victim so I am spending time with Barnaby on the toy room balcony looking for cats in the street.
In the meantime, the tall person is collecting ‘mug shots’ of street cats in our neighborhood and we are showing them to Barnaby in the hope that he will identify the perpetrator, or ‘perp’ as we call them in law enforcement.
We showed this suspicious looking character to Barnaby but he said it wasn’t the one that mugged him.
I hope we catch the ‘perp’ soon. Barnaby is getting restless. I have reminded him that for his own safety he must remain within my witness protection program and not wander off.
I told him not to worry. CSI Tbilisi never gives up!
Yesterday, the tall person shared his ice cream with Barnaby and me. It was the first time that Barnaby had eaten ice cream.
I explained to him that we have rules concerning ice cream.
Rule 1: Wait patiently and do not panic. The tall person always shares but if you pester him there is always the possibility that he won’t.
Rule 2: Try not to watch the tall person eating his ice cream. It is best to look away or you will start drooling.
Here I am demonstrating the correct observance of Rules 1 and 2. Note that Barnaby is flouting Rule 2.
Rule 3: When the tall person indicates that it is time to share approach the ice cream carefully. Ice cream is notoriously slippery and can easily fall on the ground. A gritty ice cream is not much fun.
Rule 4: Do not rush. Savour the cool, creamy texture.
Rule 5: Try to avoid an ice-cream headache, also known as brain freeze, cold-stimulus headache, or its given scientific name sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia (meaning “nerve pain of the sphenopalatine ganglion”). This is a form of brief cranial pain or headache commonly associated with consumption (particularly quick consumption) of cold beverages or foods such as ice cream.
Unfortunately, as you can see from this picture I ignored my own advice and suffered sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia. Ouch!
Rule 6: Ice cream can be very messy to eat. Always maintain your dignity and avoid looking silly.
Oops! Have I got ice cream on my nose?
From the look on his face I think Barnaby enjoyed his first ice cream.
Follow these simple rules and you too will maximise your ice cream eating experience.
Barnaby asked me to thank everyone for their get well wishes and lovely messages.
He is feeling much better today and we were able to have a chat about how he came to be attacked.
He said that he had met an adult tom cat in the street and went to say hello but the cat attacked him, scratching his ear and the top of his nose. He was taken completely by surprise and could not defend himself against the stronger cat so he ran home as fast as he could.
He showed me where the cat had scratched his nose. Ouch!
My kitten, Barnaby, got out of the yard yesterday evening and didn’t come home at bedtime. We went looking for him but couldn’t find him.
We were all very upset and I went to sleep feeling very sad.
At 4.15 a.m. I heard a sound outside and immediately alerted the tall person.
When he opened the back door I was relieved to see my little Barnaby.
He was very pleased to see us.
He had clearly been roughed up and had a small cut beneath one of his eyes.
Tall person administered some first aid and then Barnaby curled up against me and fell asleep.
He has been very subdued this morning and spent most of the time asleep on his favorite red chair. I will have a chat with him later and remind him that the streets can be very mean and he needs to stay away from bigger boys.
We have two balconies in our house. One overlooks the street (the toy room balcony) and the other overlooks the yard. Until now, Barnaby and me have kept guard together but I thought it would be more effective if we split up and each guarded one balcony.
I discussed this with Barnaby and he said that he would prefer to keep watch from the toyroom balcony because it is sunny and he likes to sit in the sun. This suits me because I don’t like to sit in the hot sun and the balcony overlooking the yard is always in the shade.
I mentioned the new security arrangements to the tall person and he called us together and told us that he was very happy that we are beginning to act as a team. In fact, he was so happy that he promoted Barnaby to Corporal and me to Sergeant.
Wow, Corporal Barnaby and Sergeant Bassa!
P.S. Sergeant Bassa is not asleep on duty – I’m just resting my eyes.
I was relaxing in the yard with my cat, Barnaby, when he asked me how old I am. I told him that it is rude to ask a lady her age.
A little while later I found out that he had asked the tall person and he told him I am 1 year, 6 months, 1 week and 2 days old.
I wish you hadn’t told him tall person – Barnaby is now calling me Grandma!