I haven’t mentioned my one-sheep-flock for a while. He is still with me and still depends on me to herd him where he needs to go. His sense of direction has not improved!
My one-sheep-flock woke me up just before dawn this morning and asked me to take him to the toy room balcony because he wanted to ‘watch the sun rise’. This is one of the problems of being a shepherd dog, sheep are so demanding. Half asleep, I herded him along and as usual he wandered all over the place. It took me five minutes of hard sheperding to get him to the balcony. However, I must admit it was worth it. We watched the sky gradually lighten and the sun slowly rise into the sky. Perhaps I have underestimated my sheep. He has obviously got a deep appreciation for beauty – but he still has a terrible sense of direction!
Apart from the occasional ‘baa’ we sat in silence, each contemplating the wonder of nature. It was wonderful. I was having a profound spiritual moment and then he spoiled it by depositing what I can only describe as sheep ‘poop’ on my balcony. He was deeply embarrassed but I tried to reassure him that it was okay because the tall person would use it to make the plants grow in the garden. He laughed at that and I know he wanted to ask me why the tall person would do a silly thing like that but we couldn’t really talk about it because, like all sheep, he has an extremely limited vocabularly. He can only say ‘baa’ and whenever he says it to me I usually just smile and nod my head and he has always seems happy with that.
Anyway, as the sun rose in the sky it started to get hot so I herded my sheep back to the cool bathroom. It was a lovely start to the day and I know that the tall person will be thrilled when he discovers sheep ‘poop’ on the balcony. Happy gardening tall person!
My one-sheep-flock wanted to sleep under the stars tonight so we are bedding down on the toy room balcony. I think he is still a little nervous after this afternoon’s bear encounter. I have told him that nothing will hurt him because bears are afraid of me, especially tiny bears.
Stay close little sheep and count sheep if you can’t sleep. One, two, three………ah, he has fallen asleep. Hmm, easy on the snoring little sheep.
Goodnight everyone. Sheep dreams. We shall see you in the morning.
I know it’s my job to guard my one-sheep-flock but I would like some time off. He follows me everywhere. I can’t even go to the bathroom (you know what I mean) without tripping over him. He needs to be careful. You know the fuss Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot made when I dribbled on his head – can you imagine what would happen if I ‘rained’ on my one-sheep-flock? I don’t think a cocktail umbrella would provide enough cover in that situation!
Don’t get me wrong, I like my little sheep. Unlike Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot he never complains. He is not noisy. He just makes the occasional ‘baa’. He has never attacked me, unlike Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot. His fleece is soft and he does not mind me resting my head on him. In fact, he is fast becoming my favourite companion. The only problem is that he doesn’t like to leave his magnificent and fearless protector – me! I think saving him from that vicious bear this afternoon has only increased his dependency. Hmm, I must think of a way of boosting his confidence. Perhaps I could ask the tall person to send him on an assertiveness training course. But I wouldn’t want him to come back ‘over-assertive’ like Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot. I can’t fight a war on two fronts! I’ll talk it over with the tall person and see what he thinks.
Come on my one-sheep-flock, let’s graze in the hallway. Careful, I nearly trod on you!
I heard the tall person turn on the air conditioning so I herded my one-sheep-flock into the hall so that we could both benefit from the lovely cool air. My one-sheep-flock was happy so I decided to have a quick nap. Imagine my surprise when I later woke up to discover a bear about to attack my flock! De must have left the back door open. How many times have I told her about the danger from bears in the neighbourhood! Anyway, the bear must have realised that I had woken up because he ran towards me, roaring as he went. I could clearly see his huge teeth and razor sharp claws. I froze for a moment, transfixed by this terrifying beast that was bounding towards me. Fortunately my instincts took over and at the very last moment I swiped him with my paw and pinned him to the floor. I realised then that he was only tiny. Believe me, he had looked much, much bigger when I was lying on the floor.
I was too embarassed to tell De or the tall person so I picked him up and put him outside. I told him, very sternly, to go home and never again bother my one-sheep-flock or I will tell his mummy and he will have his bear bottom spanked and he will be grounded.
Stick to porridge little bear!
I herded my one-sheep-flock onto the balcony this morning. It’s safe there and I thought the sunshine would do him good. However, it wasn’t long before Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot started to complain. He said that my one-sheep-flock is not house-trained and would make a mess on the balcony. I was speechless. Hello Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot – haven’t you noticed that your cage is one big bathroom!
To avoid a big argument I herded my one-sheep-flock off the balcony, through the toy room, through the little person’s bedroom, down the hallway and into the bathroom. It took some time because he kept wandering off and I had to run after him and point him the right direction. I am seriously thinking of getting him a Sat-Nav. He really has no sense of direction!
Anyway, we reached the bathroom and I managed to settle him down. I’m exhausted now and it’s all the fault of that petulant parrot. He has got to go!