It was drops of drool that drove us apart!

You may remember that I had a friend called Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot. I never knew his real name because he very quickly became known as Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot. Sadly, he passed away last year.

Tall person returns home later this evening and I think a moment remembering my crazy friend is a fitting way to end this trip down memory lane. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as me and Barnaby:

Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot didn’t wake up today

Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot didn’t wake up today.

I went to see him in the toy room to say good morning and he was lying on the floor of his cage.

I barked but he didn’t wake up.

I fetched the tall person and he looked at Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot and told me that he had gone to sleep forever and would not wake up.

Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot had been fine when we had all said good night to him.

I asked the tall person why this had happened and he said that there are some things that cannot be explained.

We are all very upset.

Tall person buried Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot in the garden whilst I sat and watched.

When it was done the tall person said I should say goodbye.

I will miss you Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot. You know I liked you and I know you liked me.

I shall remember the good times we shared in the sunshine on the toy room balcony as we watched the world go by.

I know that Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot had many friends who enjoyed reading about him. 

The link below will take you to one of my favorite posts.

I will miss you Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot, more than I can say.

He was ‘hen pecked’

Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot is actually one of a pair. The tall person and De brought them both home one day last summer, before I was born.

Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s mate had a striking yellow and pink plummage that complemented Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s green and pink feathers.

Unfortunately, Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s mate was not very nice to him. The tall person noticed that she often pushed Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot off the perch and pecked him. I was astonished to learn this. Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot was hen pecked?

Anyway, on their second day at home the tall person put them on a table in the garden so that they could enjoy the afternoon sunshine. When he checked on them later the cage door was open and Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s mate was gone. 

The tall person is still uncertain how the little parrot escaped. The cage door had been fastened with wire but this had been undone somehow.

I know Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot would not admit it but I have a theory. I suspect that Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot was so fed up with his mate’s behaviour that he untied the wire fastening the door to the cage and pushed her out.

If my theory is correct it might explain why Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot is so crazy. His mind is still unbalanced from the tempestuous relationship he was in.

Don’t worry Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot. You still have me and I’ll never leave you!

He has not drowned in my drool – honestly!

The tall person reminded me today that I have not mentioned Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot for a while. He was concerned that people might think that I had managed to find a way to open his cage and return him to the wild or that he had drowned in my drool. Well, I am ‘happy’ to report that Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot is indeed alive and well.

I know what some of you are thinking – that picture could have been taken months ago. Okay, to prevent any conspiracy theories emerging I asked the tall person if we could take a picture of Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot with today’s newspaper. He didn’t have one so we took a picture of Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot with the tall person’s cell phone, which has today’s date on it.

Great idea!

But then we thought that anyone with technical knowledge reading this would know that it’s possible to put any date on a cell phone. Hmm, what to do?

The tall person suggested that we find an event on the news that was so unique to today that everyone would know that the picture was taken on 9 November proving that Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot is alive and well.

We surfed the BBC website on the tall person’s cell phone and found what we were looking for – a unique event – ‘Giant asteroid passes near Earth’.

An event like this doesn’t happen every day so a picture of the news report taken next to Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot is conclusive proof that it was taken today and he is alive and well.

The tall person said that my efforts to reassure everyone that Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot is alive reminds him of the famous Monty Python’s Dead Parrot Sketch.

Mr. Praline: ‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig! ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Hmm, very funny tall person.

‘Hannibal Lector’ is on the team

This morning, Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot asked the tall person if he could meet with me. He couldn’t ask me directly because the tall person recently removed me from my post as Head Warden at parrot prison and has been keeping us apart. The tall person said it was for the best because I cannot stop pressing my nose against the bars of Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s cage and Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot cannot resist the urge to peck my nose. The tall person now acts as a go-between and we all feel it’s much better that way.

Anyway, after breakfast the tall person issued me with a prison visitor pass and accompanied me into the high security section of the toy room. I was frisked very thoroughly for contraband, which in Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s case is sunflower seeds – apparently they are worth their weight in gold ‘on the inside’. I thought this was an excessive precaution. Does the tall person seriously believe I would be Mr. ‘Crazy Parrot’s ‘mule’? But I didn’t mind really – I like to be patted.

As you know, Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot is the only inmate in this maximum security facility and I always feel a bit like FBI Agent Starling going to see Hannibal Lector.

Okay, deep breath, here goes. I approached Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s ‘cell’ and stopped at a safe distance.

The tall person warned both of us to ‘behave’ and went to sit in a chair nearby. Both of us? Have you forgotten that he pecked me? Okay, I did dribble on him a few times.

Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot came up to the edge of the bars and in a whisper asked me if I had brought any sunflower seeds! He’s got some nerve. I shook my head and asked him to come to the point as I had a “very busy schedule”. I didn’t really.

Anyway, Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot said that he had heard that the tall person’s ‘Bassa Saves Christmas’ story has been published and “a little bird” told him that he wasn’t in it. Ah, so this was why he wanted to see me. He went on to say that children like parrots and parrots are often in children’s stories. He said that he had asked the tall person to ‘Google’ it and it was true. I looked over at the tall person and he nodded. Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot then suggested that he could have been very helpful in my mission to rescue Santa.

Hmm, he might have a point. The ability to fly is an asset in an adventure story. I can’t fly, neither can Gigi, Biggy, Rabbit or Mike Bear. He is also fearless and could be a brave companion. I looked at my script writer (the tall person) who had been listening with a smile on his face.

Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot could see that I was interested.

Okay. Okay. You are on the team Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot. You can come along on my next adventure.

The tall person said that it was a good decision and he would be very happy to include Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot in the next story about Bassa’s adventures.

Hmm, I hope I have made the right decision. Can you imagine what would have happened if Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot had pecked Santa on the nose!

The Pet Shop Boys (and Girls)

We had an errand to run on this evening’s walk. Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot was running low on prison rations so we had to go to the pet shop to get him some more. I would normally object to running errands for Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot but as I have recently taken on the responsibility of Chief Prison Warden I must take my duties seriously and look after my prisoner. I decided to take on this role because I feel that my security responsibilities should also cover internal as well as external dangers and Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot is definitely an internal danger. It also makes me feel good.

Anyway, we headed off and almost immediately encountered the little barking, snarling dog. He decided to hide under a different car today and snarl at me. I suppose a change is as good as a rest. I ignored him and walked on and soon met another excited dog who poked his head out of his yard fence and barked and barked and barked. Calm down little dog, you will give yourself a headache!

Early evening is a busy time to walk the streets. Lots of people are coming home from work, whilst others come out of their homes to enjoy the cool evening air or go to the shops and bakeries. I am fine walking with lots of people around me but my size makes some of them very nervous and I lost count of the number of people that crossed the road when they saw me or quickly stepped into shop door ways. Don’t worry people. I don’t bite. You are more in danger of me slobbering over you!

We arrived at the pet shop and bought Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s prison rations and then spent some time in a small park before heading home. I like this park. It has fountains and trees and lots of small children running and playing. I would have joined in but De kept me on the lead so I rewarded her lack of trust by leaning my head on her knee and dribbling.

On the way home I saw a Caucasian Shepherd dog on the other side of the road, out for a walk like me. Unfortunately, he was being bothered by another dog. I know the feeling my friend. What is it about us that creates such unwanted attention?

We arrived home and I watched the tall person fill Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s seed container. Hmm, enjoy your prison rations Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot – we are having a barbeque tonight!

They have unwittingly provided him with a mini gym

I often see Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot gnawing at a cuttlebone that is wedged between the bars of his cage. I asked the tall person what a cuttlebone is and why does Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot keep biting it. The tall person said that a cuttlebone is the internal shell of a small squid called a cuttlefish and is a good source of calcium, just like the bones I eat. Hmm, I suppose that’s good. However, the tall person went on to say that the cuttlebone also helps to exercise and strengthen Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s jaw and beak. I was astonished! Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot has been provided with the means to supersize his bite? You could have knocked me down with a feather! No wonder it hurt so much when he pecked my nose. All this time, Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot has been training hard and De and the tall person had unwittingly provided him with a mini gym.

Well, two can play at that game Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot – De! Can I have another dinosaur bone please?