30 | September | 2011

I am on the toy room balcony waiting for the little person to return home from school. He is late and will probably be grumpy when he arrives because he will be hungry. I expect his tummy is making loud complaining noises on the school minibus.

The toy room balcony gives me an excellent view of the street but it is becoming a little small for me. I think it is shrinking. In fact, I think the whole world is shrinking. Lots of things appear to be much smaller than I remember. I shall have to discuss this strange phenomenon with the tall person to see if he is aware that the world is getting smaller.

I am certain that this balcony was bigger. I can remember stretching out on it only a few months ago but you can see from this photo that I am now forced to put my nose and paws through the railings. I expect this is how Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot feels behind his bars. Come to think of it, he looks smaller as well. Hmm, the only thing that is not getting smaller is me. Am I immune from this bizzare phenomenon?

So many questions. That is one of the problems of waiting – your mind wanders and starts to think about odd things. But if I hadn’t been waiting I might not have realised that the world is getting smaller so I suppose there is a positive side.

Hurry up little person. If you don’t come soon I will think of more strange things or the balcony will get even smaller and I will be squashed!

Hmm, I wonder what these railings taste like? I shall just have a little lick. Goodness I must be bored if I’m licking the railings!

Ah, at last. I can see the school minbus turning into the street. I shall go to the front steps and meet him.

Hello little person. Yes, I know you are hungry.

By the way, have you got smaller?

This morning, Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot asked the tall person if he could meet with me. He couldn’t ask me directly because the tall person recently removed me from my post as Head Warden at parrot prison and has been keeping us apart. The tall person said it was for the best because I cannot stop pressing my nose against the bars of Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s cage and Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot cannot resist the urge to peck my nose. The tall person now acts as a go-between and we all feel it’s much better that way.

Anyway, after breakfast the tall person issued me with a prison visitor pass and accompanied me into the high security section of the toy room. I was frisked very thoroughly for contraband, which in Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s case is sunflower seeds – apparently they are worth their weight in gold ‘on the inside’. I thought this was an excessive precaution. Does the tall person seriously believe I would be Mr. ‘Crazy Parrot’s ‘mule’? But I didn’t mind really – I like to be patted.

As you know, Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot is the only inmate in this maximum security facility and I always feel a bit like FBI Agent Starling going to see Hannibal Lector.

Okay, deep breath, here goes. I approached Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s ‘cell’ and stopped at a safe distance.

The tall person warned both of us to ‘behave’ and went to sit in a chair nearby. Both of us? Have you forgotten that he pecked me? Okay, I did dribble on him a few times.

Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot came up to the edge of the bars and in a whisper asked me if I had brought any sunflower seeds! He’s got some nerve. I shook my head and asked him to come to the point as I had a “very busy schedule”. I didn’t really.

Anyway, Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot said that he had heard that the tall person’s ‘Bassa Saves Christmas’ story has been published and “a little bird” told him that he wasn’t in it. Ah, so this was why he wanted to see me. He went on to say that children like parrots and parrots are often in children’s stories. He said that he had asked the tall person to ‘Google’ it and it was true. I looked over at the tall person and he nodded. Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot then suggested that he could have been very helpful in my mission to rescue Santa.

Hmm, he might have a point. The ability to fly is an asset in an adventure story. I can’t fly, neither can Gigi, Biggy, Rabbit or Mike Bear. He is also fearless and could be a brave companion. I looked at my script writer (the tall person) who had been listening with a smile on his face.

Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot could see that I was interested.

Okay. Okay. You are on the team Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot. You can come along on my next adventure.