‘My side of the story’ by Mr. Parrot

Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot feels that I have an unfair advantage because I have a blog and he doesn’t. He is concerned that I am using my blog to discredit his character and he has no way to respond and ‘set the record straight’. He asked me for an opportunity to be a guest writer on my blog. He reminded me that freedom of speech is a fundamental human right. I pointed out that he is not human. However, in the interests of fairness I have agreed to his request. He dictated the following message on our balcony this morning. Please note that as he is a parrot he did keep repeating himself so I have done some editing so you don’t think he is crazy (though he is crazy). Some of the things he says are very personal but I have decided to be brave and publish his rantings.

‘My side of the story’ by Mr. Parrot

Hello everyone, I am sure you are aware of the situation between me and Bassa regarding use of the toy room balcony but I thought it might be helpful for you to hear my side. As you know, Bassa was only recently allowed into the toy room. Until that time I had sole use of the balcony. It is prime real estate as it overlooks the street and has wonderful views of Tbilisi. Bassa of course realised this and began to spend a lot of time on the balcony. It was nice to have some company and in the beginning I did not object to sharing. However, I quickly became aware of her unsavoury habits, which include standing over my cage and dribbling on my head, flooding my cage with drool and wagging her tail so vigorously that I nearly fall off my perch. She also sniffs me constantly, barks a lot and presses her big wet nose against the bars of my cage and breathes on me (if you have ever smelled dog food you will understand why I object to this).

Despite these constant intrusions and invasion of my personal space I feel I have been very tolerant but I admit I did ‘lose it’ recently. Yes, I did peck her on the nose but it was in response to her unsociable behaviour.

To resolve this situation I want the following reassurances from Bassa:

1. No more dribbling on my head.

2. No loud barking on the toy room balcony – it scares me.

3. No sniffing me or breathing on me – her nose is to remain at least 10cm from my cage.

4. Tail wagging to be kept to a minimum.

If she can agree to these reasonable terms that I am quite happy for her to share the balcony with me.

Thank you for listening.

Regards,

Mr. Parrot

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11 thoughts on “‘My side of the story’ by Mr. Parrot

  1. You know Bassa, those don’t sound like unreasonable requests.
    I do hope you & Mr Parrot can come to an amicable settlement.
    After all – you would not want to be banned from the toy room balcony altogether, would you?

    More hugs from Annie

    • Thank you Annie, I agree that his requests are not outrageous but he did omit to mention his frequent squawking! We do have to resolve this as I like sitting on the balcony. Hugs!

  2. I dunno about the barking thing- how will you alert the family to danger without barking? I mean, there could be a mean looking car below or a bird trying to mess with Mr Parrot! But I think maybe drooling on the bird is a bit much. He doesn’t realize that you like him!
    Good work you two!

    • Exactly Rumpy, there are lots of suspicious things on the street. The other day I saw a woman with an umbrella and it wasn’t even raining! Of course I barked. You are right about the birds. Yesterday one flew into the toy room from the balcony and I had to chase it out. Does Mr. Crazy Parrot want to turn this house into an aviary? He can’t have his friends over all the time.

  3. These are, no doubt, serious reasons and problems that have to be solved by the ones who can handle tools …how about a little footrest under Mr. Parrot’s cage? or a see-through shield above the cage? kind of a drool-umbrella – maybe this could make him feel more comfortable.

  4. Hmmm … I think Puzzle has a very good idea indeed. Birds are not water creatures, so I can see that Mr Parrot would not like drool on his head —- even if he has any sea-going piratical parrots in his ancestory, he is a land based parrot himself. The drool-umbrella seems a good plan.
    And as for the squawking — perhaps it is similar to your guarding-barks???

    Many hugs to you,
    Annie

    • Hi Annie, I am keen on Puzzle’s suggestions – very practical. You make a good point about the nautical ancestry of parrots. He is quite feisty so I think one of his ancestor’s belonged to the pirate Blackbeard! Big hugs to you xx

  5. Pingback: Mr. ‘Crazy’ Parrot’s right of reply « bassasblog

  6. Since you two are sharing the balcony and he is willing to have you stay, I think most of those are reasonable. After all drool on ones head and in his space is quite uncomfortable to him ! I do believe you should be able to bark to alert your people of a problem. So it seems sharing should be able to be worked out. Then you can both enjoy the fresh air and beautiful view 🙂

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