Admit it, we all do bottom burps! I do and I am not embarrassed at all. I always think it is hypocritical when the people in our home blame us and jump up and down waving a newspaper to try and dissipate the offending odour. It’s their fault. They choose what to feed us! So, never be ashamed. Always remember that the blame for your bottom burps lies squarely with the people in your home.
People’s reaction to bottom burps has always surprised me. Our noses are thousands of times more sensitive than theirs and we do don’t jump around holding our noses and choking. To be honest, I think it is attention seeking behaviour!
As you know, there are several types of bottom burp. The main types being the loud bottom burp and the silent bottom burp. Apparently, humans find the silent one the most deadly! Unlike the loud variety the silent one seems to hang in the air for quite some time. It is my favourite. I can clear a room of humans in a few seconds with that one!
In my experience, the loud bottom burp does not create the same reaction in humans. They usually laugh or gently scold me. I remember the first time I did one. I was curled up on the floor with my nose near my bottom when suddenly there was a loud noise and a very interesting gust of air. It was my bottom! I was surprised but quite proud that I had acquired a new skill.
So, my main tips are:
1. Never be ashamed or embarrassed by your bottom burps. We all do it!
2. Bottom burping is not your fault. Humans chose what to feed us so they are to blame.
3. Bottom burping can be funny and often makes humans laugh so it can be an entertaining party trick but use it sparingly or you will get a reputation or a new nickname that you may not like!
4. Try to avoid the very potent silent bottom burp when the people in your home are eating – in my experience it puts them off their food (though that could mean some left-overs for you!).
5. It sounds obvious but do go outside if you feel the need for multiple or prolonged bottom burps. Share them with the world!
And finally, enjoy your bottom burps. It’s only natural!
Yes it was me!