The dangers of practicing soccer in a confined space

On my walk through the neighborhood today I saw these ladies in a shop window.

I pointed them out to the tall person and asked why the ladies had lost their heads. He paused for a moment and then smiled. Perhaps, he suggested, the ladies had not used the correct technique for heading a soccer ball and had suffered a serious mishap. He explained that good timing of the run as well as anticipation of where the ball will be placed is essential. After take off, the upper body arches backwards and this momentum produces a snapping action where the body is propelled forward. At the same time the neck is extended then snapped forward in synchronization with the body to strike the ball with maximum power.

Hmm. I think these ladies used a little too much power and clearly should not have been practicing soccer in such a confined space.

Somebody stole my street!

On my walk through the neighborhood today I found this.

Yes. Someone has stolen my street! I pointed it out to the tall person and he said that perhaps road builders from another neighborhood had run out of road and needed part of ours.

Hmm. I understand that it is sometimes necessary to borrow things but I think this approach to road construction is unsustainable in the longer term.

Artist’s muse waits patiently for paint

On my walk through the neighborhood today I found a row of still life subjects waiting patiently for paint.

I think they have been waiting for a long time.

I pointed them out to the tall person and asked him why no one had painted these wonderful subjects. He shook his head sadly and agreed that they deserve some special attention. He said that seeing them reminded him of something that George Bernard Shaw once said: “Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course”.

Hmm. A useful quotation tall person and one which clearly emphasizes the importance of doors in art.

Who knows?

The tall person found this in the yard today.

He asked me what it was. I told him to step back and reminded him that people sometimes can’t see the wood for the trees.

Not that I have a wooden nose.

Small dog hides in soup!

At dinnertime today I was surprised to find a small dog hiding in my soup.

I was about to tell it to find somewhere else to hide when the tall person asked me if I was enjoying my chicken soup.

Phew! That was a close one. The tall person would have thought me very silly if I had told him that a small dog was hiding in my soup.

One eyed tree scared to death!

On my walk through the neighborhood today I saw this strange sight.

This one-eyed tree looked very alarmed.

I pointed it out to the tall person and he told me that the wood had completely dried out and become petrified (from the Greek root petro meaning “rock” or “stone”; literally “wood turned into stone”).

Very interesting tall person but didn’t you notice it only has one eye? Hmm. If it was not for me you would miss so many things.

Tree hugger determined to save tree!

On my walk through the neighborhood today I saw a tree hugger.

The small tree had wrapped itself around the larger tree.

I pointed it out to the tall person who smiled and said that it was very interesting but he also told me that it might be better if I did not refer to it as a “tree hugger” as the term is sometimes used in a derogatory or mocking way when referring to environmentalists, especially those who advocate for the preservation of forests and sometimes chain themselves to trees to prevent them from being felled.

Oh. So I should have referred to the small tree as an environmentalist?